"How do you feel?" , "What is the feeling like?" are the FAQs being asked to me by near and dear ones. Well personally I have been looking forward for this day for more than 3 years and as per plan had shifted my family to Pune six months back. So I was travelling on weekends to Pune and I had just taken long leave of 30 days prior to retirement. So when I finally shed my uniform and joined my family on PM 30 Sep 14, it just felt as if I am proceeding on leave once again, only never to return back. No more reporting back genforms and proceeding genforms. Other than that, having been in service for 25 years i.e. right after 12th standard, had joined the Indian Navy as an officer cadet, so there is a feeling of blankness/ vacuum in the mind which cannot be expressed in words.
But this milestone has been an evolution for my thinking pattern and the same continues. Each day brings on new thoughts and visions and challenges, but each of them is fresh and exciting. It is interesting to see and observe your own thought pattern and how it evolves. Finally, when I have moved out of uniformity into individuality, it will take some time to align my inner aspirations with actual actions, because all my life in the last 25 years, I have done what I was told and expected to do. "Uniformed life" is about following orders and doing things in a particular manner: "You are here to do and die, not to question how or why" is the adage of the armed forces. Now life needs to be lived according to one's own nature and aspirations. So I think one needs to just be and do whatever comes to the mind without trying to ponder and question it. This way, slowly the thought pattern will evolve and allow one to understand the deeper aspirations. I have been the questioning kind of person all my life and probably that is in my nature, so I have a feeling that I did not belong in the uniformed environment, but these are just feelings and let my life flow from now on-wards and let me not make any auto-suggestions about what I am and am not.
As "BhagwadGita" says, one must do what is in one's nature and not be unnatural. Each one of us have been born in this universe to carry out certain actions as per our nature and we must do those actions to the best of our ability. Meditation will help in identifying those deeper aspects of our mind and nature which have been hidden by the daily noise of this world. So the process has begun for me and I have started enjoying it. I intend taking each day as it comes and savour the flavours of life that it has to offer.
Life is really exciting and interesting and I have started looking forward for each morning to do something new. Am I enjoying this phase, well, Yes and would like to continue this for some time to come...
So, Hey, Life.. Here I come.... anew, afresh bubbling with enthusiasm and energy to take on newer challenges and enjoy each moment...
Signing off ...
Naveen ( New is the meaning of this word and so it shall be ever as I keep renewing myself....)
